


he'll never love you quite like me

by taehbaeh



Series: the universe couldn't keep us apart [3]
Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Back Together, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 07:22:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20849666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taehbaeh/pseuds/taehbaeh
Summary: It takes seeing Wooseok with someone new to make Seungyoun realize that moving on was never an option.





	he'll never love you quite like me

**Author's Note:**

> The title and inspiration for this fic were taken from 'Fair-Weather Friend' by Bruno Major. It's a really good song, please give it a listen!  
This is unbeta-d and I wrote this fairly fast so I apologize for any errors etc. and if it sucks.  
Kudos and comments are much appreciated!

Seungyoun didn’t think it’d be this hard.

It’s been well over a year since they called it quits but having been friends before they started dating and thus being part of the same friend group, Seungyoun found himself more than once ‘hanging out’ with Wooseok. Seungyoun tried acting as if their relationship and break up hadn’t affected their dynamics and he knew Wooseok well enough to assume he did the same. But even a completely oblivious person could see they were nothing like before. Seungwoo had confronted him about it, claiming _It’s sad seeing you guys drift apart. _But there wasn’t much left to do at this point. Wooseok had warned him, he had said they could potentially taint their friendship if they started dating and things ended badly. But Seungyoun was too in love to care.

So here they are. Broken up, both _supposedly_ having moved on. But seeing Wooseok sit at the other end of the table, in between Seungwoo and his _new_ boyfriend, Seungyoun realizes he hasn’t moved on much.

He isn’t sure what hurts more. Seeing Wooseok’s smile that used to only be reserved for him, directed at a guy that _isn’t_ him. Perhaps it is the fact that the new boyfriend is a fellow producer, much more successful than Seungyoun himself. Or maybe the image of Wooseok laying in _his_ bed, under _his_ sheets, listening to _his_ songs and not Seungyoun’s, is what hurts the most.

“You’re not being very subtle.” Seungyoun rips his gaze away from the _couple _to look at his friend.

“What are you talking about?”

Yohan rolls his eyes the way he does before he’s gonna call Seungyoun out on his bullshit. “_Please_, you haven’t looked at anything else the entire night. I’m surprised they haven’t called you out for being creepy yet.”

“Shit, am I really that obvious?” Seungyoun glances back for a second but Wooseok looks completely unbothered, laughing and joking with his _boyfriend_.

“Hyung, let it go.” Yohan’s voice is accompanied by a frustrated sigh. “It’s been over a year and he’s clearly moved on. You should do the same.”

“And what if I can’t?”

Yohan’s eyebrows scrunch in what can only be described as pity and Seungyoun hates that look. It reminds him that Wooseok was able to move on while he sits here wondering why he can’t be the one that makes Wooseok smile like that.

“He’s happy, hyung.”

And Seungyoun looks back, barely catching Wooseok’s eyes on him before they switch back to his boyfriend and he selfishly, but maybe rightfully so, can’t help but think that _No, he’s not._

* * *

Seungyoun steps out of the restaurant, head buzzing ever so slightly from the few drinks he had. The early December air reminds him to wrap his scarf around his neck and get home as soon as possible if he doesn’t want to freeze his ass off.

His eyes briefly catch the sight of a small form standing a few feet away from him and he doesn’t need to look twice to know who it is.

Ever so confident as he is tipsy, Seungyoun covers the small distance that’s separating them and soon he’s standing beside Wooseok.

“Hey,”

Wooseok’s head turns almost comically fast in Seungyoun’s direction, eyes widening as soon as they set on the other.

“Oh, hey.”

His voice is small, _quiet, _and Seungyoun thinks this might just be the first time they’ve directly talked to each other in months. He’s used to Wooseok’s sharp tongue and snarky comments, not _this_. Whoever this is.

“Where’s Jinhyuk?” Seungyoun asks as nonchalant as he allows himself to be.

“Uh, he’s getting the car. We parked kind of far away.”

Wooseok bites his lip, eyes anywhere but on Seungyoun. The latter grasps the chance offered to him and openly gape at the younger, noting how Wooseok hasn’t changed much since they broke up. His hair still cut at the same length, the same shade of brown that Seungyoun likes so much, and he still obviously likes wearing awfully large clothes that swallow him up in the most adorable way. Seungyoun doesn’t miss the seemingly sharper jaw and more prominent cheekbones, and he remembers all the times he’d order late-night take out for the both of them, the other complaining that Seungyoun was trying to make him fat.

“How long have you been together?” Seungyoun knows it can’t be longer than half a year, or at least he _hopes_ it hasn’t. He wants to assume that it took Wooseok a bit longer than that to move on.

“Four months.” Wooseok purses his lips, something he only does when he’s feeling uneasy, _out of place. _Something in Seungyoun’s stomach clenches at the realization that being around him makes Wooseok feel out of place now.

“Are you happy?” Seungyoun asks then and Wooseok’s eyes dart downwards for a brief moment, almost skeptically, before they rest on Seungyoun’s own, for what seems to be the first time that night.

“He’s a great guy.”

And they both know that isn’t what he was asked but Seungyoun isn’t buzzed enough to confront him about it and Wooseok doesn’t look like he’s open to confrontation of any sort, especially from Seungyoun.

Only then does Seungyoun notice Wooseok’s reddened cheeks, accompanied by the little tremble in his body and without thinking about it, almost out of habit, Seungyoun removes the scarf from his neck, wrapping it loosely around Wooseok’s instead.

Brown eyes look up in shock, Wooseok’s mouth already opening to say something that would surely make Seungyoun regret the moment he walked up to him, so he decides he won’t give him a chance to.

“Dress warmly, you’ll catch a cold.”

And as Seungyoun looks at the other’s slightly parted lips and wide eyes, a sense of deja vu shoots through him and he remembers doing the same exact thing on their first real date three years ago.

By the look on his face, he figures Wooseok remembers too.

But it doesn’t matter because soon a car is pulling up, with Wooseok’s boyfriend behind the wheel, and Seungyoun very quickly gets reminded of the current place he has in Wooseok’s life.

Not a friend, not even an acquaintance at this point, but merely an ex-boyfriend. That’s what he is.

And to him, Wooseok is _merely_ the love of his life.

* * *

Seungyoun tosses and turns in his bed that night, quickly realizing that falling asleep is the last thing he can do when his mind is clouded with whatever the fuck had happened outside that restaurant. Wooseok’s shocked expression as he wrapped the scarf around him keeps replaying in Seungyoun’s mind. He isn’t sure what had gotten into him and he can only blame so much on the alcohol. Besides, he’s never been a person to do stupid shit when under the influence and Seungyoun is convinced Wooseok’s well aware of that.

But this is stupid, _so_ stupid.

Seungyoun wonders whether Jinhyuk questioned the appearance of a new piece of clothing on Wooseok’s frame. Or maybe he didn’t care enough to notice. Perhaps he doesn’t pay enough attention to his boyfriend to notice he was wearing another man’s scarf.

Seungyoun clenches his eyes shut, hoping to fall asleep as to silence all these thoughts for at least until the morning.

* * *

Seungyoun follows Seungwoo into the bar, eyes instantly falling onto a table in the far corner, Wooseok and Jinhyuk sitting beside each other amongst the rest of their friends.

He nudges Seungwoo in the ribs a bit more violently than he might’ve intended, but doesn’t attempt apologizing before getting his actual complaint out. “You didn’t tell me they’d be here.” He asks in a hushed tone as if Wooseok, or anybody else for that matter, could hear him all the way from the other end of the room.

Seungwoo throws his head back with an exasperated sigh, “It’s my birthday, you didn’t think I’d invite Wooseok?”

“Yeah, but what is his boyfriend doing here?” Seungyoun spits out only then realizing how incredibly jealous he sounds.

“He’s a nice guy and we all like him, why shouldn’t I invite him?”

“_I_ don’t like him,” Seungyoun emphasizes as if he has any say in this.

Seungwoo reaches out to grab onto both of Seungyoun’s shoulders, “Listen, I know it sucks but you’ve got to let it go. He’s clearly happy.”

Seungyoun shakes the older’s hands away.

“Why do you all keep saying that, he-“ _He’s clearly not happy. He was happier with me._

Seungwoo raises an eyebrow as if urging Seungyoun to finish his sentence.

“Whatever.” Seungyoun rolls his eyes, pushing past his friend, mentally preparing himself for the night that’s about to follow.

* * *

Seungyoun watches closely as Jinhyuk pours yet another drink into Wooseok’s glass, the latter eyeing it hesitantly before bringing the glass to his lips, downing the liquor down anyway.

Seungyoun itches to grab the glass out of his hands, knowing fairly well Wooseok is close to his limit already, but who is he to do that?

He catches Wooseok’s eyes glancing over at him and he wonders whether it’s the alcohol that makes the other refuse to look away even when Seungyoun stares back at him.

Staring has become their only form of communication, although they don’t do much of that either. It has become a contest of sorts and winning came at a price. Wooseok doesn’t look at him so much as through him, like Seungyoun’s head is transparent and he is fascinated by an object two inches behind his skull. Wooseok’s eyes that he once fell into as Seungyoun’s salvation instead turned his stomach every bit as badly as meeting a stranger after dark. Maybe those long looks were how he told Seungyoun of his bitterness.

But this time _staring_ isn't quite the word for what Wooseok does, though he’d fit the dictionary definition to a tee. His eyes rest, not unblinking but slowed; yet the effect is soft and inviting instead of harsh. Perhaps it is his lips that give away his intention, not quite smiling but tilting as if they mean to.

And Seungyoun isn’t used to _this_, whatever this is.

Somewhere in the midst of it all, Jinhyuk’s phone starts ringing and Wooseok tears his gaze away, focusing on his boyfriend who excuses himself before walking outside to answer the call.

Wooseok doesn’t look up from where he’s staring at his glass until Jihyuk returns a few minutes later, wearing an apologetic expression on his face as he eyes Wooseok.

“I’m sorry, something urgent came up. I have to go.”

Wooseok stares at him, face twisting into a frown. “At this hour?”

“Yes, I’m sorry, baby. There’s nothing I can do.”

Seungyoun observes closely as Wooseok lowers his head, perhaps looking somewhat disappointed.

“I’m sure someone else can drive you home.” Jinhyuk looks expectantly across the table and before Seungwoo, or anyone else for that matter can make the offer, Seungyoun does the unexpected.

“I can drive you.” Seungyoun watches everyone’s conversations die down, heads turning to look at him as if he’s just gone insane.

Maybe he has.

Wooseok’s eyes widen, lips parting and Jinhyuk seems to hate the idea if the look on his face is any indication and Seungyoun wonders whether Wooseok has told him about their history.

Seungyoun shrugs as if it’s no big deal when his heart threatens to jump out of his chest any moment now. “We’re the only ones that live close to each other.”

Jinhyuk glances at his boyfriend briefly, breaking into what can only be considered a forced smile.

“Thanks, Seungyoun. That’d be great.” Jinhyuk speaks the words as if they are poison on his tongue before averting his gaze to look at Wooseok.

“That’s okay with you, right?”

Wooseok’s eyes briefly find Seungyoun’s challenging stare from across the table.

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

Jinhyuk looks borderline disappointed by Wooseok’s response as if he’d been secretly hoping that the other would’ve rejected Seungyoun’s offer instead.

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Seungyoun watches as Jinhyuk presses a kiss against his boyfriend’s temple, the latter pulling his lips into a tight-lipped smile.

Their eyes lock again but this time the bitterness is back, clouding Wooseok’s stare, and he tears his gaze away all too fast leaving Seungyoun longing for something more.

* * *

“I can get home on my own, you really don’t have to drive me,” Wooseok says once they’re out on the street, having parted ways with everyone else. Seungwoo had pulled Seungyoun aside before he left, a warning look on his face as he told him not to do anything stupid and Seungyoun had assured the older that he wouldn’t, although he’s not sure how much weight his words actually held.

Seungyoun scoffs, “You’re drunk and I’m not stupid enough to let you get home by yourself.”

“Hey, I’m not drunk!” Wooseok argues, despite the evident flush in his cheeks.

“You have a limit of three shots and I’m pretty sure you had more than that. I’m driving you, end of discussion.” Seungyoun finalizes, not leaving much room for Wooseok to argue back.

Wooseok furrows his eyebrows, lips sealed shut and Seungyoun takes that as a cue to head for his car, silently hoping Wooseok is going to kindly follow after him instead of stubbornly walking the other way to get home on his own.

* * *

The drive back is not supposed to be that long but the painful silence makes it seem like twenty _hours_ instead of twenty minutes. Wooseok’s head is completely turned towards the window, not leaving much room for Seungyoun to initiate any kind of small talk.

It’s only when the familiar building of Wooseok’s apartment complex comes into view that Seungyoun realizes he might not get many more chances to be one on one like this with Wooseok in the future.

“Thanks for the ride.” Wooseok mumbles, still very much refusing to look Seungyoun in the eyes.

He’s about to step out of the car, hand on the door handle when Seungyoun blurts out the question that’s been eating at him ever since he saw the two of them together for the first time.

_“Do you love him?”_

Wooseok freezes.

“Excuse me?”

“Jinhyuk. Do you love him?”

Wooseok’s head turns, eyes finding Seungyoun’s for the first time since they stepped into the car.

“I don’t think that’s any of your-“

“Answer me. You should be able to, _right?”_ Seungyoun’s challenging him at this point, knowing fully well Wooseok’s need to prove himself comes above everything else.

Wooseok bites his lip, momentarily shifting his eyes to focus on the handbrake instead, “I love… being with him.”

“That’s not what I asked.” Seungyoun points out.

“Well, I’m not obligated to reply,” Wooseok says, tongue as sharp as ever, hand reaching out to find the door handle again.

“Then answer me this. Do you think he loves you more than I did?” Seungyoun asks and then, “More than I _do_.”

He realizes this is it. After a year and two months of awkward glances and unspoken words and trying to deny himself the most obvious fucking thing in the world, he said it.

It’s out there for the world to know. For _Wooseok_ to know.

“What are you- What did-“

“You heard me. I still love you, I never fucking stopped.”

Wooseok’s eyes widen and he looks puzzled, confused and _hurt_.

“What- Why would you say that? What’s the fucking point of saying that right now, Seungyoun?!”

Wooseok’s fist is clenched by his side, his voice turning frantic and angry and he looks close to breaking down, tears gathering in his eyes.

Seungyoun knows this isn’t what the other wants to hear right now but it’s too big of a weight to carry by himself.

“I can’t get over you.“

“I have a boyfriend, you -”

“I know.”

Wooseok looks at him, unshed tears visible in his eyes.

“We were supposed to be friends, we said-“

Seungyoun let’s out a laugh, though it sounds bitter more than anything else, “Please, it doesn’t take a genius to see that we’ve been acting like anything _but_ friends. We’re as good as strangers at this point, Wooseok.”

Wooseok shakes his head, face twisting into an expression that has Seungyoun’s stomach clenching. His eyes shift to the side again and become glazed with a glassy layer of tears. As he blinks, they drip from his eyelids and slide down his cheeks. He bites his lip tightly in attempt to hide any sound that wants to escape from his mouth; Seungyoun’s heart sinks.

“I told you beforehand that this was going to ruin what we had, Seungyoun. I fucking told you and you didn’t listen, you-“

“Oh, so you regret it all?”

“I regret _losing_ you, Seungyoun.” His voice is barely above a whisper as he speaks and Seungyoun’s mind is blank.

“I regret not having you in my life anymore. I miss you every single day and it _hurts_.”

Despite the shock form Wooseok’s revelation, Seungyoun brings a shaky hand to Wooseok’s cheek, thumb gently swiping at the tears that fall.

“I miss you too.” He whispers, only for Wooseok to hear. “_So _much. We can_-_“

Wooseok shakes his head, eyes clenching shut and he grabs onto Seungyoun’s hand, meaning to pull it away, but not quite going through with it.

“We can’t. We broke up, we weren’t right for each other, we didn’t-“

Seungyoun grazes Wooseok’s cheek delicately.

“There’s no reason for us not to try again.”

Wooseok looks at him almost accusingly, “I have a boyfriend. That should be enough of a reason.”

“But you’re not happy.” Seungyoun knows he’s right. He’s known since he saw them together and he knows Wooseok is unable to deny it.

“That’s not-“

“He’ll never love you like I do. Nobody will.”

Wooseok’s eyes flutter closed, “I know.”

Seungyoun inches closer, hand moving to Wooseok’s jaw. The other’s eyes open, looking at him with a stare that communicates his exhaustion, and his wish for Seungyoun to give them both a break, to let go and to move on. But if Seungyoun would’ve been able to move on, he’d done it a long time ago.

He can feel Wooseok’s breath quicken when two hands find his chest, gently but firmly pushing him away.

Wooseok wipes at his eyes with his sleeve, head shaking. “I can’t, I’m sorry-“

And then he’s pushing the door open, jumping out of the car and Seungyoun has to watch him run into the building, wanting nothing but to chase after him, to try and persuade him because he knows there’s still something there. There has to be.

But he doesn’t.

Instead, he starts up the engine and drives back home, feeling as far away from Wooseok as he could possibly be.

* * *

It’s 1 am when Seungyoun hears a frantic knock on his door. It’s pouring outside and instead of sleeping soundly in his bed, as he should be, he’s in front of his computer attempting to put his usual late-night productivity to some good use and maybe work on some of his songs, but his mind is racing and Seungyoun’s unable to catch up.

The knocking intensifies and Seungyoun hesitantly approaches the door, trying to reassure himself that _a murderer wouldn’t knock, you’re fine._

Hesitantly, he pulls the door open and what he sees is most definitely not a murderer.

Wooseok’s just kind of standing there, drenched from head to toe, his hair sticking to his forehead and water dripping from his clothes.

“Wooseok, what the fuck-“

_“I ended it.”_

Wooseok’s looking at him through wet eyelashes and Seungyoun is torn between running inside to get him a towel and trying to figure out what the fuck his ex-boyfriend is doing standing in front of his apartment at 1 am.

So he opts for a simple _“What?” _instead, the only thing his mouth seems to be able to vocalize at the moment.

“I broke up with him.” Wooseok starts, eyes hard. “I broke up with an amazing guy who cared about me, took care of me and treated me with fucking _respect_, and all because even after a goddamn year of trying to convince myself that I can love someone else, I still can’t let go of you.”

Wooseok’s fuming, his expression filled with pent up emotions that he’s been clearly holing back and Seungyoun knows it’s a matter of time until the anger pushes at his limits, making him break down completely.

“And I tried, _goddammit_, I tried! I tried pushing myself to see something that clearly wasn’t there but I still hoped that sooner or later I’d forget about you. But then fourteen _fucking_ months later you appear and say the _shit_ that you did, turning my whole life upside down!”

Wooseok steps closer, hands visibly shaking either from the cold or the frustration, Seungyoun’s not sure.

Brown eyes lock onto Seungyoun’s, intense and pained.

“It’s all because of you!” Wooseok’s voice cracks, hands reaching out to clutch onto Seungyoun’s shirt, visible tears gathering in his eyes. “It’s all your fault…” he whispers this time but his words don’t seem to hold much weight- Seungyoun knows he doesn’t actually mean it- his head dropping on Seungyoun’s shoulder.

Seungyoun hears the muffled sobs punch through, Wooseok’s entire body shaking as he holds onto the other as if the weight of his body is too heavy to carry. 

Seungyoun’s arms come to wrap around the younger’s much smaller frame, a hand threading through wet hair as Wooseok cries against his chest.

“I’m sorry,” Seungyoun says.

“I’m a horrible person.” Wooseok mumbles, words muffled against Seungyoun’s shirt.

“That’s not true.”

Wooseok pulls back ever so slightly, bloodshot eyes looking at Seungyoun. “But it _is!_ I lead him on for months. You should’ve seen his face, Seungyoun, I didn’t even have to say anything, he knew it was because of you. Said he should’ve never let you drive me home and yet he still told me I deserve to be with someone whom I truly love. I acted like a complete asshole and he still wished me the best.” His gaze drops to the ground, lower lip caught between his teeth. “I’m so fucking pathetic.”

“Hey,” Seungyoun gently tugs on his chin. “You’re being too hard on yourself.”

Something tugs on his chest, seeing Wooseok go through such a hard time because of something that might’ve been initially his fault.

“I’m sorry.” Wooseok apologizes and Seungyoun frowns.

“What are you apologizing for?”

Wooseok sniffs and he drops his head almost guiltily. “I avoided you for a whole year. It’s mostly my fault that the ‘_friends’_ thing didn’t really work out. I just couldn’t do it, I guess.”

Seungyoun resists the urge to coo at how adorable the other looks despite his tear-stained face, and smiles, hooking one finger under Wooseok’s chin to have him look up.

“I couldn’t do it either. I suppose staying friends just isn’t enough for me.”

Wooseok’s eyes are wide as Seungyoun pulls him towards him, face inching closer and he pauses as if expecting the other to push him away again. But when Wooseok’s hands are back tugging on his shirt, Seungyoun needs no more confirmation.

He leans in, hand moving to cup Wooseok’s jaw, his lips eagerly meeting Wooseok’s for what feels like a long-awaited kiss. Seungyoun sighs against the other’s mouth, feeling like he can finally breathe again.

“Can’t believe I managed to survive a year without this.” Seungyoun breathes out once they’ve pulled away.

“Yeah,” Wooseok looks at him, lips forming into a shy smile and Seungyoun feels his heart swell.

“So,” he starts, because he feels the need to ask. “Where does this leave us?”

Wooseok’s eyes are clouded with hesitance as he stares up into Seungyoun, “I don’t know…”

Seungyoun brushes the hair away from Wooseok’s face, “I want us to try again.”

Wooseok’s entire face twists in worry and Seungyoun wants to make it all go away. “What if it turns out to be a mistake?”

And as Seungyoun lets his eyes graze over Wooseok’s face, he knows there’s no possible way for him to let go at this point.

“I don’t care. I love you.”

“You also said that the first time and look where that got us.”

Seungyoun smiles and cradles the other’s face in both hands, “Second time’s a charm?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s ‘_third time’s a charm’_.” Wooseok giggles and Seungyoun can nearly hear the sound of his heart thumping against his chest at the way the other’s eyes crinkle so enchantingly.

“I’ll make sure there won’t have to be a third time.”

“I will hold you to that, Cho.”

And Seungyoun doesn’t necessarily _hear_ the other's answer but it doesn’t matter because later that night, it’s _his_ bed Wooseok lays in, under _his_ sheets, listening to_ his _songs_._

Wooseok’s laying on his stomach, intensely focused on Seungyoung’s vocals echoing from the computer through the small bedroom.

_I wish you happiness_   
_It's okay if it's not me_   
_ I don't think I'm good enough for you_

“Is that a new song?” Wooseok’s asks, lashes fluttering prettily as he looks at Seungyoun.

“No, I made it when we first broke up. Couldn’t finish it though.” Seungyoun answers honestly, fingers tracing the skin of Wooseok’s bare back.

Wooseok readjusts himself to lay on his side, the fresh red marks on his neck coming into view, and he looks at Seungyoun lip caught between his teeth. “Are you going to finish it?”

Seungyoun smiles, leaning closer to catch Wooseok’s lips into a brief kiss because he has a lot catching up to do.

“I don’t see a reason to finish it anymore.”

_ <strike>We're different, we're so different</strike> _

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone wondering, the reason the lyrics are crossed out at the end kind of symbolizes that they've put their differences aside to try and make their relationship work again and also that Seungyoun didn't need to finish what had initially been a break up song.  
The lyrics from Seungyoun's song at the end are taken from Woodz's 'Different' in case you didn't know.
> 
> P.S. the fact that i used jinhyuk as Wooseok's new boyfriend, or rebound if you will, was totally random, literally off the top of my head, just bc i couldn't think of any other name.


End file.
